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How can men help with infertility?

Writer: Heather PatelHeather Patel

There was a man at a local college working as the program coordinator when a woman walked into his office. She was a Brazilian international student who wanted to coordinate her courses. After a few words, she opened up to the program coordinator about some personal difficulties she was going through - the man patiently listened to her.

This woman had struggled to get pregnant for 3 years. While in Canada, her doctor told her she could not get pregnant due to a low egg reserve, so she decided to get a second opinion in her home country, Brazil. She received a similar diagnosis to which the resounding advise of IVF (in vitro fertilization) had been given. During the initial steps of IVF treatment, she conceived naturally - twins - to her surprise and that of her doctors. Unfortunately that news shifted from great to tragic. She had suffered a miscarriage of one of the twins and a rather traumatic delivery to which she lost so much blood she almost died. To make things worse, the other twin baby was born alive but died shortly afterward unbeknownst to mother. This woman had gone through the worst and it’s a wonder how brave she was to try again. She knew there was more to the story. She knew her body and that she could conceive, despite what her expert physicians were telling her.


All this was going on while she was trying to maintain her course load at the college. She came to coordinate her program but instead confided her experience with a total stranger. The man, full of compassion addressed not only her academic concerns but also her personal ones. He shared with her that his daughter helps women & couples address infertility issues in a natural way. Whatever this program coordinator said to her touched her heart and gave her the courage to reach out and receive help.


Part of her journey to receive help involved a man who was perhaps only an acquaintance, but yet listened to her with compassion and offered insight which maybe others would have hesitated to give. The role of the fiancé or husband, in the awareness of the health of their beloved, serves a valuable purpose to the fiancée or wife, and society as a whole: having a support system while going through this journey of infertility, miscarriage and the couple’s fragile self esteem, to name a few. Some would argue that female issues, including infertility, is a woman’s concern - that there is no role for the man to play. What does it look like to have the man as a support system? Having a friend to confide in your uncertainties, even cheer you or assist you through your treatment, drive you to endless bloodwork appointments, attend consultations and being present in charting, etc. It is hard for men in this day and age to support women without being afraid of offending women or overstepping perceived boundaries. Men, you are an important companion on this journey, where being able to share your experience of infertility or sharing the resources could prove invaluable.


The man working for the local college was my father and his courage to actively listen and respond to the personal struggles of his student, opened up an opportunity for her to find help for her fertility struggles which would otherwise have not crossed her path had he not said anything. Only four months after learning to chart with me, a brand new intern, she conceived successfully – and naturally. I referred her to a medical consultant as soon as possible to have her pregnancy monitored with NaProTechnology™. This extra care that the Creighton FertilityCare Model gives through NaProTechnology™ gave her the assurance that she was doing everything she could to keep this baby healthy. Her little baby boy was born at full term, and mom was over the moon in love with her baby, thankful to all who gave her so much care and above all, hope.




Keep posted for my upcoming posts on topics such as IVF and pornography use in marriage.


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